Hey there

At this time last year I was sitting alone in my dorm room, not studying for my last final, and wondering whether or not I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life. I was pretty confused, extremely depressed, and not very certain about what I wanted or even who I was. All I could do was trust my instincts.

Thanks, instincts. You led me into the arms of the most wonderful man in the world- my best friend and my future husband. You also led me to the most innovative and unbelievably amazing school on the planet. And somehow you also helped me realize it was finally time to lose weight (and keep it off) and start making healthier choices.

Then                                                                              Now
220 lbs                                                                         160 lbs
Single/involved with a guy who was not              In a serious, loving relationship (soon-to-be
good for me                                                                 engaged, actually) with my soulmate
At a school I knew was all wrong for me               Still pinching myself because sometimes I cannot
                                                                                      believe COA is real
Couldn't run 30 seconds without gasping            Have completed four 5Ks, one 10K, and am
for breath                                                                     currently training for a half-marathon
Was afraid to dance, alone or in public                 Planning on becoming a Zumba instructor. Danced
                                                                                      in a shopping mall in front of hundreds of people.

It's really interesting to think about which decisions spurred which outcomes. If I didn't take the job at Mind Body Sole, I wouldn't have started running or doing Zumba. If I hadn't left UGA, I wouldn't have been looking for a job during my semester off. If I hadn't gone to UGA, I wouldn't have had a semester off because I would have been in school. Also, if I hadn't gone to UGA, I would never have met the friend who convinced me to make an account on OkCupid. If I hadn't made that account, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend. And if I hadn't met my boyfriend...well, I guess I wouldn't know exactly what I was missing, but I wouldn't have found the most perfect person for me.

All of this thinking/connecting the dots is exhausting(!!!) Basically even though I ended up leaving UGA, it was a huge part of my life, and important for so many different reasons. I learned so much about myself while I was there...and I've become a much stronger, more assertive, and more confident person as a result.

Enough reminiscing. I'm really tired. Got up at 7:00ish, ran 2 miles, worked 9:30-5:30, ate dinner, caught up with things online, edited my boyfriend's paper, and now thinking about all of the things I should be doing...

Whatever. Going to wrap the last of the Christmas presents and just relax until bedtime :)

I've gotten back on track with my diet...hoping it will stay that way (relatively, I'm totally allowing indulgences! Two parties this weekend [yikes] and then Christmas next weekend!)

Breakfast: one vegan waffle w/ 1 tbsp Better 'N' Peanut Butter [AMAZING], Morningstar Farm veggie sausage patty, strawberry soy yogurt

Lunch: baby carrots w/ roasted red pepper hummus, garlic Melba toast snacks, banana, salad [spring mix, cucumber, celery, tomato, pumpkin seeds] w/ homemade Italian dressing

Snack: rice crackers

Dinner: Morningstar Farm Grillers Original veggie burger on a light wheat bun w/ BBQ sauce and relish, roasted sweet potatoes and onions, steamed brussel sprouts

Snack/dessert: unsweetened candy cane tea and...a CANDY CANE (duh)

Intake: 1613 cal
Outtake: 222 cal [2 mi run]
Net: 1391 cal

I mean a little higher than I used to want, but it's all good. I didn't binge, I ate healthfully, and I feel completely satisfied. That's all I can ask of myself.
                                                                             

A great day in the city

First of all, I successfully participated in another Buy Nothing Day. All I purchased was breakfast and lunch for a total of $14. I did not set foot in a single store.
I finally went to Occupy Wall Street. I marched. I chanted. I was (and still am) incredibly inspired, and a little more hopeful than I was this time yesterday. I stood in front of the New York Stock Exchange and exercised my First Amendment rights and it felt so liberating. My first time on Wall Street, and I was protesting the very existence of Wall Street. Perfect. I wish I could write more about it but it's difficult for me to put into words. Here's a photo:

I also saw my first opera today, Faust. I didn't love it but I liked it a lot. The Met is pretty impossible to describe but I'll try: breathtaking, gargantuan, sparkly. Haha. Sounds like I'm talking about a diamond. My best friend is in the student ambassador program at the Met so he gets free tickets to dress rehearsals and performances sometimes. We went to the final dress rehearsal of Faust. I'm thinking about asking for tickets to see The Barber of Seville (don't feel like typing out Italian, sorry) in February. Hmmmm.
My Thanksgiving was great. I ate reasonable portions and enjoyed every bite! Also, the only things I ate that weren't vegan: whipped cream and a tiny sliver of apple pie. My 5K didn't go quite as well as I hoped it would (I finished in 37:06) but that's alright. It's still much faster than any of my 5K training runs have been in the past month so I'm not too unhappy. All the participants got free apple pies! Here's a photo of my boyfriend and I from the morning of the race:

I ate as close to vegan as I could today. The only things I ate that weren't vegan: a pat of butter and a little bit of whipped cream. I ain't even mad. Calories are way too high for a rest day but I didn't binge and I made good choices while eating out. Sometimes that's all I can ask of myself.
Tomorrow: hitting the gym (or the pavement for a walk) early, breakfast with a friend from high school,  cleaning and packing, possibly grocery shopping, visiting grandparents, heading to my boyfriend's for an entire week (yay!)
This week I am going to the elementary school his mom works at (she's a speech pathologist). I'm going to shadow her for a few days and then volunteer in some classrooms. I'm really excited! I haven't spent time with kids in a long time and I'm hoping spending some time in elementary schools over break will help me start to figure out whether I want to get my elementary or secondary teaching certification.
Going to read a bit before bed. Goodnight, whoever is reading this! :)

Food/exercise, and control

Vegan pumpkin pie is baking in the oven! About 20 more minutes until it's done, and then it has to cool for an hour and set in the refrigerator for a while. It (hopefully) will not be touched until dessert on Thanksgiving day. It wasn't too hard to make, although I did have some issues with the consistency of the crust. Anyway.

Ran 2.5 miles today and felt so great! Tomorrow I'm not sure if I'll have much time to work out, but if I do it'll just be some light cross-training at the gym for 30-40 minutes. I need to rest up for my 5K on Thursday morning (SO EXCITED). This is by far the biggest race I've ever participated in- over 10,000 runners, INCLUDING: Joan Benoit Samuelson and Bill Rodgers! I'm hoping to get their autographs tomorrow when I go to the race expo and pick up my number.

I finally feel in control of my eating again, and of course it's because I'm at home and I get to decide everything I eat. I have some control at school, I guess, but it's not like I actually get to choose what to cook, from a seemingly infinite number of options. I get to choose from the options someone else lays out for me. I wish I had more willpower, and I think I can try and make better decisions, but ultimately I  know that I will inevitably eat better/healthier foods and more reasonable portions when I cook at home. I do cook for myself on the weekends at school and I don't have the money to cook for myself during the rest of the week, especially considering that my dining hall meals have already been purchased.

Today I had oatmeal with a tbsp of apple butter, a coconut-milk yogurt with blueberries, and herbal tea for breakfast. For lunch I had a slice of sprouted wheat bread with a little peanut butter and cinnamon (weird combo but one that I adore), baby carrots and hummus, and leftover roasted brussel sprouts. I felt hungry after eating all that so then I had a clementine. I also had 16oz water with lunch.

While baking the pie I had a couple spoonfuls of the crust dough and filling but I'm not stressing about that. I had another 16oz water after my run. Dinner will be 1 or 1.5 bowls of roasted vegetable soup and possibly a piece of tempeh with ginger-soy marinade.

I'm really enjoying planning my meals again and I know I won't be able to at school so I'm trying not to get too comfortable with this...but I so badly want to be close to 150 when I go back at the beginning of January, because I know I'll have no issues maintaining my weight. And as my half-marathon training gets more intense maybe I WILL lose weight, who knows?

Mega-update

I haven't updated in almost a week! Yikes. In my defense I have been busy. It was the last week of fall term, and although I finished most of my assignments early, I was busy seeing friends, packing, and getting ready to come home for six weeks!
I am writing this from my living room at home. It's so nice to be back. This weekend my boyfriend and I baked bread (first time for either of us). We somehow destroyed the sourdough flavor but it's good bread all the same. He made me a vegan dinner on Saturday! And we went out for a nice dinner last night. Yes, a lot of our relationship involves around food. We also watched many hours of the Food Network yesterday (it's the only TV I actually enjoy watching).
I think my favorite moment from the weekend was on Saturday night. I was playing guitar and he asked me to play "that song" from Juno. We sang "Anyone Else But You" together and it just felt really perfect. I was crying by the time we stopped singing.
This week is going to be great. This afternoon I'm going to the gym with my sister, and then we're drinking some vegan peppermint hot chocolate, eating candy canes, and watching Christmas movies. On Wednesday I'm going to pick up my number/shirt for the 5K I'm running on Thanksgiving morning (and hopefully getting some autographs from Joan Benoit Samuelson and Bill Rodgers..EEEEK!!)...as well as doing some Thanksgiving cooking. What's on the menu?

• Vegan stuffing
• Vegan pumpkin pie
• Apple pie
• Fish (for the non-vegans/vegetarians)
• Baked sweet potatoes/regular potatoes
• Salad
• Roasted vegetables
• Cranberry sauce
• Tempeh (for my sister and I)

I LOVE THANKSGIVING! We were originally going out to eat but I am so glad my parents decided it made more sense to stay home. It'll be cheaper, more fun, and there will be food I can eat (I don't think there was anything vegan at the buffet we were going to). I'm baking the pie on Wednesday and making the stuffing too, since we only have one very small oven and my mom needs to use it Thursday morning. 

And on Black Friday, my best friend and I are going to NYC to see an opera...and then we're going to participate in Occupy Wall Street. He went last Thursday and almost got arrested...and was photographed by some reporter. His photo was on CBS and CNN. I am so proud of him. I really need to go to OWS...I've needed to for so long. I will regret it forever if I don't go, and honestly, I'm not afraid of getting arrested. The more I think about it, the more I realize getting arrested is a small price to pay for standing up for what's right. Sounds corny but it's true.

In other news...MY BOYFRIEND GOT INTO COA! Wow actually a lot has happened since I last updated. He'll be starting in January! We're hoping we can get an apartment together but still not sure if that's possible...I'm waiting for the housing person at OUR school to get back to me. Regardless it's going to be amazing to be there with him...and amazing for him because he'll be at a school that's right for him (versus the huge state school he's at right now).

I ran four miles yesterday! Longest run in a while, and it felt great. During the last mile and a half I was running at a pretty consistent 9:30 pace (!!) Idk if I've ever maintained that pace for so long..it felt really good and not that difficult. 

I am determined to run the half-marathon in February. My parents are paying for my registration as part of my Christmas present. And next fall? I will run my first marathon. Watch me. 

To sum up, I am very happy right now. The end. :)

Veganism: Day Two

• Breakfast: tofu scramble (tofu, carrots, onion, artichoke, veggie sausage); home fries with ketchup; small apple; black coffee with (vegan!) sugar
• Lunch: pomegranate-cranberry tempeh; quinoa; kale; vegan broccoli-almond soup; apricot-almond bar (also vegan! I love that I go to a school with an abundance of vegan baked goods!)
• Snack: raspberry zinger herbal tea
• Snack: two vanilla-almond energy squares
• Dinner: stuffing; vegetable stew; asparagus; applesauce with cinnamon; vegan gingerbread (was not very good, btw)
• Snack: tamarind almonds (just asked my friend to take them away from me...addictive) 
• Exercise: 1 hr elliptical; upper body strength training

Veganism: Day Uno

• Breakfast: none...my bad, my bad
• Lunch: whole-wheat penne with broccoli, tomato, garlic, Italian seasoning; mango fruit leather
• Snack: green tea with organic sugar; 1 piece ginger candy
• Dinner: Nile lentil soup with brown rice; two carrots with garlic hummus; an apple with peanut butter (too much peanut butter!); glass of unsweetened vanilla almond milk
• Exercise: 5K run!